Free Way

In any association, we need to understand how important it is to have respect. When I say respect, it does not mean respect on the basis of age, or qualifications of positions in social or professional life. Respect here would stand for giving space for the survival of the other person’s individuality, accepting that there could be a counterpoint, without running down the other person’s preferences and choices. While the person whose preferences could be made fun of in a gentle manner, it would not really require one to study rocket science to decipher the derision behind such comments, if any. It would also boil down to plain inequality in the relationship.
I know an acquaintance of mine, who undergoes this pain time and again at the hands of her close friend. She likes a particular screen hero, and the friend likes someone else. The latter downright runs down her friend’s preferences, calling this hero the choicest of names, and almost succeeding in provoking my friend to defend her choice of hero. Fortunately, my friend has better sense than spoil a couple of good hours spent together, arguing about someone who is not even know to her personally, and she deftly changes the topic without getting deeper into the controversy.
The point to contemplate here is not about who wins the argument. I wonder why there is no respect in the relationship here. It is of course not mandatory that the friend shares the opinion; but why go out of the way to run down someone whom her close friend likes? I mean, my friend told me that the dislike is so strong that the opinion expressed is full of criticism, and in spite of the good work done by the actor, this friend of her has deliberately avoided all movies in which this person has acted, though they have gained worldwide recognition and awards.
I would expect a lesser rigid stance, especially if it is about tolerating someone or something that my close friend would feel so strongly about. After all, isn’t life all about standing by to let someone pass, or giving way on a highway?
Mohana Narayanan
November 4,2010