MY WALDEN POND

It is indeed sad how a person is not able to respect another’s need for space in a relationship. One may think it is banter or even taking liberty, when acting in a particular manner, but does he or she realize the level of discomfort the receiver goes through, without resorting to putting their foot down, because they do not want the encroachment to happen? Many a beautiful friendship and relationship has been lost out, simply because this basic respect for the other person is not maintained.
I had a friend (call I use that word I wonder?) with whom I got in touch with, through my writings. We exchanged messages and ideas and we seemed to be on the same page on a lot of things that we discussed. But somewhere down the line, I started feeling the questions were becoming a little too many, the ideas were becoming a little too forceful and the boundaries were becoming a little too diffused. I don’t mean there was any wrong message being conveyed; just that persistence on some issues was becoming uncomfortable. I guess this is what one means by connect. I would expect a person who I think understands me or with whom I am able to connect would be also able to understand certain unstated messages, or ulterior transactions. Somewhere down the line, I missed this connect. Not even saying things outright to this person and clarifying my stand on certain issues was able to convince this person that I meant what I said. It does get draining after a while, and what starts off as a possibly enjoyable fulfilling relationship comes across as a strain and heavy to hold on to! I wonder whether I was really wrong in understanding this person initially, or whether I overestimated this person’s emotional quotient. Whatever the case, when I gave my point of view, it was not accepted and the defenses came on so strong, it answered my earlier question: I overestimated this person’s e.q.! I would have thought that once my stand was understood, we would realign our thoughts and carry on our intellectual conversations. But obviously, the miffed reply made one thing very clear to me: I cannot communicate as well with anybody as I can do with myself: hence the blogging!
I guess this is what one means by intrapersonal conversation. I am very happy with my own thoughts for there is none that I need to convince, none that I need to please, except myself. Long live Thoreau! Though this world I am living in is not my Walden Pond, I would soon create one of my own!


Mohana Narayanan
January 30,2011