The phone ring in the midst of my workshop was insistent, and finally, excusing myself, I attended to the call. The young girl at the other end of the line sounded very worried, and upset. My mother is mentally disturbed, and I would like to bring her to you for counseling, she said. I debated whether to correct her, on the usage of the term ‘ mental disturbance’ then thought better of it, choosing to talk to her when she came to see me in person.
A lot of us make this fundamental error in differentiating between mental and emotional disturbance. As a counselor, I have come across many who say that they are scared to tell people they are visiting a counselor, for fear of being labeled as ‘mad’.
I think the difference starts from a very academic point of view. Our brains are divided into two: the right brain, which is emotional, perceptive and intuitive, and the left brain which performs the logical, rational and thinking functions. According to personality traits, people are either predominantly left- or right-brained. This is not to say that one part of the brain functions less than the other, it simply means that one is more dominant than the other. So we have people who make decisions based on logic and reason, which might make them appear very business-like and cool and collected, as they use deductive reasoning to arrive at a conclusion. On the other hand, we have the emotional, highly excitable individuals, who make on-the-spot, sometimes rash or hasty decisions, based on their emotions and on purely what they feel.
There can be no judgement on which way is the better way. Certain situations warrant a left-brained thinking, and certain issues, right-brained actions and decisions. A balanced working of both sides of the brain results in a healthy thinking individual. However, if a person always allows the right brain to dominate, he or she will end up being a high-strung, easily excitable, edgy and impulsive individual, who would act first and think later. At the other end of this spectrum, we also have individuals who would be low in spirits, be low in self-esteem, who would be global in his or her approach, especially when it comes to negative events in life.
It is important to understand this difference, to know the distinction between a ‘mental’ problem and an ‘emotional’ problem. People who are more right brained will be more emotional, and thus are better candidates for manifesting emotional problems. Now, emotional problems are connected with feelings, thoughts, and mind-set of an individual. When we say a person has a ‘mental’ problem, it is more clinical and medical in nature. It could be a pathological problem, which may require medical intervention, and possibly a consultation with a psychiatrist. A mental problem could manifest in the form of, say, delusions, hallucinations, personality problems, or obsessions.
An emotional problem, on the other hand, is more concerned with how the individual views the world from his or her angle. This would be very subjective, and may result in a distorted view of a situation, especially if the person is the injured party! A continuous series of events in this vein may result in an emotional issue, of say, low self-esteem, depression, self-effacing thoughts etc., further leading to relationship problems. Here, if
the person is predominantly right-brained, the problem is compounded, for he or she would refuse any logical arguments or reasoning on his own for a situation.
A right-brained individual would also be interested in fine arts, be intuitive and very sensitive to larger issues of existence. However, these positive traits maybe clouded because of the emotional problems he or she may be undergoing.
This is where external support would be of help. If one approaches a psychological counselor, who is trained to handle emotional problems and ask the right questions and gently probe issues in the person’s life, it would help the person look at the problem from a different perspective. A counselor would not have ready-made answers to questions, but she would help the client think in the right direction.
Just as one would visit a General Practitioner for a physical ailment before going to a specialist, say a cardiologist or a diabetologist for a specific problem, so too, one can visit a counselor, who would be able to identify whether a problem is of an emotional nature, which can be resolved through a series of counseling or ‘talking’ sessions, or whether the client would require psychiatric or medical intervention.
It is important to mention here, that counseling is not the same as advising. In fact, that is one thing that a good counselor never indulges in. A counselor does not provide a solution to a problem. On the contrary, he or she helps a client tap the inner resources to help the client arrive at a solution on her own. It works on the principle of : Give a man a fish and feed him for a day; teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Most problems are emotional, before they turn out to be of a medical nature. Maybe that is why some healers claim that most ailments are psychosomatic in nature. What is to prevent us then from reaching out to specially trained people who are willing to listen to us, without being judgemental, who would help us cope with the daily stresses, resolve issues, and help us lead a better and healthier life ?
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