I read an article in the media, about how today’s generation is so very technology savvy that the parents might end up having an inferiority complex! Well, to a certain extent, it might be true. I speak from a first-hand experience. I have a teenage daughter who is a whiz at the computers and also other gizmos which I keep getting fascinated at… A music player, for example, which can store all my favourite songs, running to hundreds of them. I am amazed at the way my telephone can sing different tunes personifying the caller. I am struck with wonder at the way my mobile which suddenly acts funny, listens to one single command of my daughter, when I go running to her helplessly, like a toddler running to his or her mother, with his or her nappy strings untied!
Then of course, when she gets together with the younger generation, I am an antique piece and they have good fun at my expense – at my supposed ignorance of the function keys on the computer, the old model of my mobile and so on. I play along, and even pretend to act dumb at times, and I enjoy the sheer exuberance on their faces when I ‘apparently’ fall prey to their jokes directed at me and my ignorance…
So, contrary to what one might think, not all parents feel they are behind times and have an ego problem, when they are confronted with technology they cannot handle. I have come across more adults however, who feel they have no need to ask for help since they are so very confident of the knowledge they possess, and the rightness of it. Take the instance of this person who would rather go round and round in circles in an unknown area, rather than ask for directions! Or, for that matter the novice who is learning cooking, who insists on doing things on his own, rather than ask for short-cuts or tips his wife is willing to offer. He would jump in with ‘yeah I know’ and ‘I was about to do exactly what you saying’ comments that tend to infuriate the willing adviser, who decides to step back and watch the fun! The sheepish look on their faces after being faced with a dismal result (low on fuel, and a mess on the dinner table and the kitchen counter) is no comfort to those who were willing to help.
What prevents these people from accepting help? Is it a wrong notion of displaying helplessness, or is it that their ego is hurt when they have to ask for help? This gentleman who is learning cooking would rather pore over cookery books, than ask his wife for a tip! Any knowledge is difficult till it is mastered; any art is something to be looked up at till one tries one’s hand at it. With guidance, the level of confidence is maintained, and sometimes, it helps in faster learning. I’d rather my daughter teaches me how to operate the system rather than seeking from the ‘Help’ column. It does not offend my sense of prestige and does not increase my sense of being ignorant in any way.
I have also seen, that the older one gets the more difficult it is for them to even ask for help, let alone accept the proferred hand! This octogenarian that I know, would rather stumble, trip and fall, than been seen using a walking stick. When on an outing, his well-meaning daughter asked him to use the walking stick and he started on a loud conversation with her, demanding to know why was it that he always had to listen to everybody else!
She got so fed-up with Mr. Know-it-all (that is the name she had given him, he would never accept either information or advise from anybody) that she promised him she would never travel with him again! He was fine with it, rather than use the stick…
Unfortunately, not many of us think that learning from others or accepting help is in no way a reflection of the level of intelligence one has; on the other hand, it speaks of a high level of emotional intelligence, if one is able to learn from others either younger or older or one’s equal and do so with grace and equanimity. So, coming to the beginning of this article, I think basically it does not matter whom you learn from - it is your willingness to expand your knowledge, and understand the spirit in which knowledge is offered. Age or generation has nothing to do with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment