When we see children who misbehave, our ire is directed at them, and there are times when we feel like spanking them! Well, we need to pause and think; children owe their behaviour to their elders. We have two sets of them: one, who have a sense of bursting pride on their faces, when their children act smart alec: they need a basic course on parenting! and another who do not know how to handle a situation when their children misbehave or show-off in public. Though I don’t claim to follow Bill Cosby on parenting, I can definitely guarantee that a lot depends on the value a parent places on discipline in their children.
We need to catch them young. I have seen children who throw tantrums in restaurants insisting on having a particular dish, (or not having one and indulging in waste) or rolling on the ground insisting their parents give in to their demands which they do out of sheer embarrassment. This only reinforces the behaviour. It becomes a convenient tool in the child’s hands and as he or she grows up, we find that they expect the sun to rise and set for them, and them alone!
There is nothing that cannot be taught to them when young, or in other words, any issue that is of worth and value needs to be talked about with them and the pros and cons of the issue explained to them. I am sure they would understand, for example , if one explains tight finances in the family and how if they cut down some of their demands, they would be contributing to the family resources. I know of a child, whose father is out of a job, and though they are not hard up, they are careful about spending money. And never have I seen the child once demanding week-end treats or insisting on buying anything in particular. This is the result of a frank discussion the parents had with the child, who is just around 10 years of age. The fact that the child is being denied certain wishes does cross the parents’ minds, but they also realized that the child has to understand how to handle a crisis. I am sure, when she grows up, she would have known what want is: and that is not something what most children would do so of today’s generation. There are ‘well-wishers’ who advice the parents against this, saying they should not deny the child anything etc., but fortunately for sensible parenting, these parents are too wise to take heed. They know that denial is something everyone has to face in life: and if one learns how to do so as a child, life would be so much easier for her when she grows up. Today, life is made so simple and easy for this generation, everything is available before they even ask for it: I am sure they have never asked for the moon as yet, for parents today are so placating, we might one day find it is no longer in the sky!
So, let us understand that denying a child what he or she wants is only a step towards letting him or her know how to handle life better: and who would not want this for their child?
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